Resetting Your Nervous System, rebuilding your self esteem and learning to live with Confidence:

In today's rapidly changing world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and blame yourself for what you perceive as failures. Our nervous systems often bear the brunt of these perceptions resulting in low self esteem a lack of confidence and unnecessary stress, leading to patterns of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. Fortunately, resetting your nervous system doesn't have to be a stressful task. There are simple, effective ways to change how you respond to challenges and cultivate self-compassion leading to higher self esteem, less self deprecation and more confidence.

In this post, we will explore actionable strategies to help you undo the unhelpful conditioning you have been subjected to and nurture your personal growth.

Understanding the Nervous System

The nervous system is a sophisticated network in our bodies that helps us respond to external events. It consists of a network of nerves and cells that carry messages from the brain and spinal cord to other parts of the body. The functioning of this network must work properly for all of the internal systems to communicate with each other and create a balanced, well rounded healthy body and mind.

It is split in to two main parts:

• The Central Nervous System (CNS): This is made up of the brain and spinal cord, which process information and manage responses. It is viewed as the central control centre for the body.

• The Peripheral Nervous System (PNS): This includes all other nerves, divided into the somatic nervous system (voluntary actions) and the autonomic nervous system (involuntary functions). This is what we are concerned with in this post. It is where your responses to fear are actioned i.e. your sympathetic and parasympathetic respoce systems.

  
  

Many people experience overstimulation in their nervous systems, especially after traumatic events or prolonged stress leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Recognising Old Patterns

Recognising old out of date responses is the first step toward resetting your nervous system. These patterns often stem from past experiences, leading to feelings of anxiety in common situations public speaking or in situations like never being able to say NO!

Let's start at the beginning by getting you used to the idea that what you know about yourself and your self worth is likely to be based on a false premise. In other words you are not who you believe yourself to be! and more importantly the fears that have been holding you back have been programmed into you from childhood which means they can be deprogrammed which in turn means your behaviour so far has not been entirely your fault!

Great news right? So now that you know this, whilst it's not your fault, it is your responsibility to help your nervous system restore itself so you can live a life that is more conducive to one that you actually desire and deserve. One filled with clarity over confusion, freedom over fear and self love over self loathing!

For instance, if you are a person that puts the comfort of others over and above your own it's likely that growing up your boundaries were not honoured and your belief was that to get love you had to do everything for everyone and ignore, if not outright deny your own needs.

If you are constantly trying to get things perfect it's likely you only received love when you were being good. If you were shamed or humiliated as a child then your negative self talk now will likely be as a result of that because you have been programmed to believe those words you heard and your inner critic still talks to you that way. It doesn't question if your negative self talk is true, it simply continues to repeat what you believe to be true about yourself!

There are so many beliefs that you have about yourself that are learned and simply not true. Again it's not your fault, you have simply been following the script. That is what you have been programmed to do and it is your brains way of protecting you. Acknowledging that your brain is trying to protect you based on past experiences, and understanding that your responses now do not define who you are and can be changed is your route to letting go of the self-blame, shame and guilt that has held you hostage. So get to it!

Letting Go of Self-Blame, Shame and Guilt.

Resetting your nervous system starts with taking responsibility for the changes you want to make. When familiar patterns resurface, it's common to feel inadequate because you are feeling and thinking in the way you always have. Therefore you are living by default believing it is normal to feel guilty, blame yourself or feel ashamed. However, these emotions only serve to solidify the programming and conditioning of your past reinforcing your beliefs. Recognise that these responses are learned programmed behaviours, not indicators of your value and you are on your way to changing them! They are habitual thoughts and feelings that you have practiced over your entire life time meaning if you embedded those ones then you can embed new ones that serve you instead of working against you.

By practicing self-compassion and reminding yourself you are changing a habit not letting those around you down or being disrespectful of those that have invested their time, love and energy in to you growing up you disrupt the cycle of negative thinking, making self compassion a crucial tool for mental well-being.

Practicing Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for resetting your nervous system. It encourages you to stay present, helping you interrupt those automatic responses you have been practicing and reinforcing. Remember these responses are happening due to habits such as negative thinking patterns and behaviours taking you down a familiar emotionally charged route and distracting you from the present. Try being more open to the present moment and taking in your entire surroundings or giving one object your full attention without judgment whilst paying attention to all of your inner personal sensations that may arise. This practice helps you stay connected to you, rather than the usual barrage of external demands.

Incorporating a daily mindfulness practice isn't as time consuming or as difficult as you may imagine. For example, take five minutes each day to focus solely on your breath or enjoying your favourite drink alone in peace. Studies indicate that just 10-15 minutes of mindfulness and conscious breathing practiced daily can improve emotional regulation by 30% (Dan Brule) leading to greater overall well-being.

Sometimes just five minutes a day is all it takes to implement long lasting change.

Replacing Old Conditioning with New Affirmations

As you move away from negative thinking patterns, feelings and behaviours, be proactive in replacing them with new ones, neutral or positive ones. Try to think of your thoughts as the words of the mind, your feelings as the words of the body and the behaviours as a reaction to both. Words have immense power especially those you say to yourself. For example, if you struggle with feelings of inadequacy, repeat affirmations like “I am enough” "I am good enough" or “I deserve happiness and respect.” this will generate a better feeling (emotion) in your body which will translate as easiness, peace or warmth rather than jitteriness, tightness or pensiveness which will in turn help you stay present and calm instead of pacing or snapping at those around you.

Teaching your inner voice to use compassionate language can lead to an improvement in your self-esteem over time. Create a list of affirmations that resonate with you and share them daily. If you find talking to yourself about yourself kindly feels a little false to begin with start general; look at what you have around you and find something to say about that. For instance if the rain which would normally make you think of miserable scenarios is lashing against your windows think about the protection the windows are giving you against the rain. This can often lead to an unexpected pleasant inner dialogue which in turn prepares your brain for the new self talk to come. A simple yet effective tool.

Over time you will not only notice a change in your thinking you will also notice a change in your emotional responses and to situations.

Understanding the Role of Somatic Practices

Somatic practices connect the body and mind, offering an effective way to reset your nervous system. These practices can include yoga, dance, and various forms of bodywork, all of which help release stored tension and emotions.

Engaging in somatic practices can improve your physical awareness. For instance, a study found that participants who practiced yoga reported a reduction in stress levels and an increased awareness of bodily sensations and internal states (Psychology Today), highlighting the effectiveness of such activities in managing physical and emotional well-being.

A great exercise to do with your children to bring their focus back to the present is to place a teddy on their belly whilst they are laying on the floor. Ask them to take deep belly breaths as they watch the teddy rise and fall with each breath. Spoiler alert: it's also great to do this for yourself. The more you practice the longer the breaths become. Start with an inhale of 4, a hold of 4, an exhale of 4, a hold of 4 and keep repeating the pattern until you can build up to 6 and 8 and so on. It's simple, easy and fun!

A walk barefoot in nature helps ground you and can promote a natural inner calmness.

Connecting with Nature

Nature can profoundly impact your nervous system. Spending time outdoors helps lower your cortisol levels, alleviating stress and promoting calmness within.

Whether it’s a walk in the park or hiking a local trail, immersing yourself in nature can recharge your energy. Being in natural settings can enhance your mood by regulating emotions and fostering a sense of belonging. It's a wonderful way to ground yourself too. Take your shoes off and really get connected!

Seeking Professional Support

Sometimes, embarking on this journey alone can feel overwhelming. I'm hoping this post hs given you some useful hints and tips to get started but if you decide to seek professional help through therapy or community based support groups then this can make a significant difference.

There are many therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) where you can talk about what is causing your emotional struggles or somatic experiences. Or you could choose psychosomatic therapies that offer a more hands on approach such as Havening Techniques®. Which ever route you choose you don't have to do it alone.

Cultivating Community

Connecting with others on similar journeys can also be beneficial. Finding supportive communities can foster belonging and understanding, which in turn can help diminish those emotional responses that keep popping up.

If you don't feel up to seeking one to one professional support maybe look for local wellness groups or online support forums focusing on healing and personal growth. Social support can enhance resilience and improve overall mental health by increasing feelings of safety and belonging. These groups highlight you are not alone, what is happening to you is by no means unusual but is unique to your personal circumstances.

Practice Patience

Remember that resetting your nervous system is not instantaneous; it requires patience. Celebrate the small victories along the way and remember to reward yourself. You deserve it!

Embrace this journey with curiosity. Every step towards awareness brings you closer to getting to know who you really are and brings significant healing. Shedding the emotional bondage of an out of date identity and all it entails is liberating to say the least so embrace all of the changes you will encounter with curiosity and an open mind.

Embrace Your Journey

Resetting your nervous system means unlearning old patterns while cultivating mindfulness and compassion. By letting go of self-blame and fostering supportive relationships, you can pave the path to a new understanding of who you truly are. This really can be a transformative healing.

Your nervous system has the ability to adapt and grow. With these practices, you can reclaim your sense of self with an emotional health that matches who you really are. Step forward with confidence; a healthier, calmer nervous system awaits.

If you decide you want to get in touch to see where your journey of transformation will take you just click the button for your free phone consultation or email me at sharon@therapy1st.com

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Sharon Marie